Dose of Laugh

A MAN ESCAPES FROM PRISON WHERE HE'S BEEN LOCKED UP FOR 15YRS.
HE BREAKS INTO A HOUSE TO LOOK FOR MONEY AND GUNS. INSIDE, HE FINDS A YOUNG COUPLE IN BED. HE ORDERS THE GUY OUT OF THE BED AND HE TIES HIM TO A CHAIR.

WHILE TYING THE HOMEOWNER'S WIFE TO THE BED, THE CONVICT GETS ON TOP OF HER, KISSES HER NECK, THEN GETS UP AND GOES TO THE BATHROOM.
WHILE HE IS IN THERE, THE HUSBAND WHISPERS OVER TO HIS WIFE: "LISTEN, THIS GUY IS AN ESCAPED CONVICT.. LOOK AT HIS CLOTHES! HE HAS PROBABLY SPENT A LOT OF TIME IN JAIL AND HASN'T SEEN A WOMAN IN YEARS. I SAW HOW HE KISSED YOUR NECK. IF HE WANTS SEX, DON'T RESIST, DON'T COMPLAIN...DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU. SATISFY HIM NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE NAUSEATES YOU. THIS GUY IS OBVIOUSLY VERY DANGEROUS. IF HE GETS ANGRY, HE COULD KILL US BOTH. BE STRONG, HONEY. "I LOVE YOU!"
HIS WIFE RESPONDS: "HE WASN'T KISSING MY NECK. HE WAS WHISPERING IN MY EAR.

HE TOLD ME THAT HE'S GAY, THINKS YOU'RE CUTE, AND ASKED IF WE HAD ANY VASELINE. I TOLD HIM IT WAS IN THE BATHROOM. BE STRONG HONEY. "I LOVE YOU TOO!"

got back from vacation and saw this note. should I call him back?

Bing, a beautiful Filipina fell in love with Edong. She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her Tatay (dad).

Her Tatay told her, "Bing, you'll have to find another. Your Nanay (mom) does not know this, but Edong is your half-brother" .

So Bing forgot about her Edong, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.

But after telling Tatay again, he said, "Bing, anak ko (my child), there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo and Edong are your half-brothers. "

Bing had no choice but to go to her Nanay. Nanay already knew and said "Anak ko, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Edong, because you are not related to your Tatay."

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY....!

God comes and says :-
[
"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the
men who had control over their women, and the
other one for the men who were controlled by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go away so that
no man and woman can talk.

Next time God comes back, the women are gone,
and there are two lines.The line for the men who
were controlled by their women is 100 miles long,
and in the line of men who had control over their
women there is only one man. God gets mad and
says,
"You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I
created you in my image, and you were all controlled by
your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who
stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"
"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in
this line?"

The man replies,

"I don't know, my wife told me to stand here." ^_^

Children Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. ! ! Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is . . .
TEACHER: No, Millie . . .. Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right . . . 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher


PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!


LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

Forwarded by my friend Arlene.