Dose of Laugh

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;

and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Send this to all the smart women you know...and all the men that have a sense of humor.

A new Army Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

"Well sir," was the nervous reply, as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have...m-m-m....urges. That's why we have the camel, sir.

The Captain said, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."

About a month later, the Captain started having a real problem with his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asked the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stood on it, pulled down his pants, and had wild, insane sex with the camel. When he was done, he asked the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"

"Uh, no sir," the First Sergeant replied. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are.

This video is 100% laugh trip. A friend of mine downloaded this from youtube and the rest is a laughing history. Enjoy watching!

A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with a long grey beard. “I’m lost,” said the man, “Can you put me up for the night?”

“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”
“OK,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as well, as she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the old man wouldn’t hear, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read:

“Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”“Well, that’s easy,” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read:

“Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted toward the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read:

“Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post.”

OUCH!

These are very helpful Chinese phrases....hehehehe.

That's not right - Sum Ting Wong
Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man - Dum Gai
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here - Wao So Dim
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao?
Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu
Great - Fu Kin Su Pah
How cool - Sa Ba Ba

A friend nurse of mine told me this funny anecdote when she was on her practice nursing in the psychiatric section of a hospital.

A former patient approached the nurse in the reception after spending sometime in the waiting area.

“Nurse, I think I am hearing voices behind my ears,” the former patient said with a confused look.

The nurse immediately took a glance in the area where the patient was seated and found no one. Then, she checked his medical records and found out that the patient was discharged a year back and he was in the hospital just for a regular check up.

Wanted to get more background, she asked if the voice is a male or female. The patient relied, “It’s a woman with a sweet voice, calling people and saying it twice”

“What does she say?” the nurse asked again.

The reply made the nurse speechless…..

“Paging Dr. Reyes, please proceed to the emergency”

I was in a stationery shop with a friend of mine when I bumped into these bathroom signs being sold in the shop.


Good thing: Once you see these interesting signs posted in public bathrooms in your area and you wanted the same thing for yourself. I can tell tyou where to buy them. Hehehehehe.

That is not all because they are also selling this picture frame.

Mrs. Tanoy is very frugal. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary. The ad taker said: "300 pesos for 5 words."

She said: "Can it be 2 words only? "Tanoy dead""

Ad taker: "No ma'am. 5 words is the minimum."

After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: "Ok, to make it worth, write this:

"TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE"

An officemate of mine forwarded this funny anecdote to me. I hope you like it as much as i did!

Too GOOD

Does Management know their Staff?

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?" The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies for everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man that I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came of, "He was the pizza delivery boy , Sir...!"