Dose of Laugh

Don't mess with old ladies!!!


A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."

"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.

"Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well, you know", "not everybody pays".

GIRL: Forgive me baba I have sinned
PRIEST: What have you done my child?
GIRL: I called a man a son of a b!@#$
PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a b@#$
GIRL: Because he touched my hand.
PRIEST: Like this? as he touched her hand)
GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call a man a son of a b@#$
GIRL: Then he touched my breast.
PRIEST: Like this? as he touched her breast)
GIRL: Yes father.
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of b@#$
GIRL: Then he took off my clothes.
PRIEST: Like this? he takes her clothes off)
GIRL: Yes father.
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him son of b@#$
GIRL: Then he stuck his "YOU KNOW WHAT" into my "you know where.
PRIEST: Like this?" as he stuck his ----! into her ----!
GIRL: YES FATHER,YEES FATHER,YEES FAAAATHER!!
PRIEST: After a few minutes) That's no reason to call him a son of
a b@#$
GIRL: But father he had aids!
PRIEST: OH HOLY SH!T THAT SON OF B@#$

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Sister Act : Wonder what she's watching in the net?

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'

The boss John says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.'

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what You say and I feel Great. I be at work soon......... You got nice house'